Being With My Deepest Feelings

Published on

Facing the loss of what I held most dear in life required a deepening and expansion of these teachings being ever so more alive in me. Evolution is rather insistent.

As we allow ourselves to fully feel, expanding into and embracing What Is, we live more vibrant lives, discovering the uncharted territory of our own true nature. ~ Bodhi Jeffreys

There is a broad spectrum of feelings to experience in this human incarnation, and there is a also a continuum of the degree to which we allow ourselves to feel and express those feelings. The more we allow ourselves to feel across the entire spectrum of feelings, the greater our potential for living a full and rich life.

Sure, most people prefer to experience what we consider "positive" feelings, e.g., happiness, and most prefer not to experience feelings that are considered to be "negative" or painful. But both inform the other, both are a part of wholeness and the totality of our being, such is the inherent polarity in all of existence.

We naturally feel deeply. We may attempt to shield ourselves from feeling at times, (consciously or unconsciously), but the experience of feeling is still taking place at some level. Avoidance, distraction and denial are attempts to block one's awareness of those very present feelings.

Feelings are a form of energy and ultimately, cannot be denied without great cost. Any attempt to block feeling is a block of one's natural flow which necessarily leads to imbalances that will show up in one's life in one way or another at the physical and/or mental/emotional levels.

I remember all too many times in younger days, being in movie theaters, experiencing rich, strong feelings. The body naturally wanted to cry out to organically release the buildup of feeling energy. But in those days I was so fearful of revealing my raw vulnerability that even when everyone else in the theater was sobbing loudly, I would choose to let my head nearly explode from the pressure of pent up energy rather than let anyone see me cry. Such is the pain of resistance. Oh dear boy, how I wish I had been there for you.

Through the last 8 years Simone's life (my wife of 27 years), with her in sleepless pain 23/7 and each of us experiencing intense feelings... then moving through the process of having to let her go as her life was slipping away... followed by the unrelenting grieving... all of that opened up a portal to pain stronger and deeper than anything I had ever experienced.

We naturally feel deeply. We may attempt to shield ourselves from feeling, but feeling is still taking place at some level. Have courage. Allow the feelings. Your reward is freedom. ~ Bodhi Jeffreys

Simone and I had long ago made a commitment to fully live our awakening — to truly live our work so that we could be wholly in integrity with what we shared with others. It was the only way that truth and love at this level could be transmitted.

And that meant absolutely allowing and expressing whatever feelings, thoughts, and emotions arose. No denial. No avoidance. No distraction. Just open to and allowing the flow of it all. I wasn't seeing any movies, but when walking at the ocean with many people around there were many times I would just stand there, crying in pain. In doing so, freedom and peace were so present.

I am grateful to feel all of this. It honors the love and path Simone and I have shared so bonded as one. Sacred. It would have been tragic to have dimmed my light and muted my experience. Shutting down would have cut me off from feeling, feeling her and feeling me and feeling you, which is the last thing I would want to do.

As each of us allow ourselves to fully feel, to expand into and embrace What Is, we can live more vibrant and richer lives, discovering the uncharted territory of our own true nature and paths.

For me, time has passed and there is far greater lightness of being in my inner landscape. While I miss Simone so very much, when she is in my awareness there is more sweetness than pain. A welcome shift. Grace.

Thank you all for holding a space for me to share these deep feelings.

Recent testimonials

  • I am learning to live with an open, positive heart thanks to Bodhi's wisdom and guidance.

    Julie Sidur Insurance Professional Oceanside, California

    Working with Bodhi on an individual basis is teaching me how to see the truth about my self-defeating ways and empowering me to deal with the toxic energy in me from as far back as my childhood. He is helping me break free from my negative, conditioned responses that I have had most my life. I am learning to be able to express myself more clearly from my authentic higher self. All I have ever wanted to do is to be able to connect with people.

    Bodhi shows me how to do this through helping me to process what is really going on inside, seeing what is truly needed and proceeding from a grounded, secure place in my communication with people in my life. I am learning to live with an open, positive heart thanks to Bodhi's wisdom and guidance. For this I will be forever grateful to Bodhi.

  • Bodhi has exceptional wisdom and practical knowledge, always applied with a gentle heart.

    Monique Martineau Mindfulness Mentor & Wellness Coach Fenton, California

    Bodhi has exceptional wisdom and practical knowledge, always applied with a gentle heart. I learned ways of "being" that allow me to enjoy my life, heal my pain, and be peaceful during heated circumstances.I highly recommend Bodhi as a teacher of teachers.

  • Bodhi has been a guiding light for me, opening doors to my own hidden resources.

    Paul Williams Author of "Das Energi", Founder of Crawdaddy Magazine Encinitas, California

    Bodhi has been a guiding light for me, opening doors to my own hidden resources. I have found working with him to be a tremendously healing and awakening experience. I would unhesitatingly recommend Bodhi and his work to any friend in need. The truth is within us, but it is a joy and a great relief for me to have found a teacher who has been able to so quickly put me in touch with that inner truth and its liberating powers.

  • I’m thankful for your clarity and presence and for how much peace it has brought into my life.

    Violet Lehrer Owner, Clarity Path Coaching Carlsbad, California

    Bodhi, I woke up flooded with gratitude for you today — your essence, your teaching, your energy, your sweet soft voice, your non-judgment. Your ability to have integrated that and not just teach it is inspiring to me. I’m thankful for your clarity and presence and for how much peace it has brought into my life. I’m thankful that the kids have learned the meaning of resistance and trigger.

    I’m thankful for the hundred times I’ve heard your voice saying “the truth and essence of who we are is love” and that I can hear that voice in my head louder than the childhood “you’re not good enough”. I’ve thankful for the healing you’ve guided me on. I’m thankful that you have shown me (and Matt) the path to our hearts. I’m thankful for all the moments of freedom and joy that are in my life because I am not in resistance. You have made a profound difference in my life.

  • It was my sessions with Bodhi that helped me to heal my most self-destructive patterns.

    Kirstin Nielsen Partner Relations Manager, Aarhus BSS Career Højbjerg, Denmark

    Bodhi is a fantastic teacher and coach, and I’m so thankful for working with him. Though I’ve worked with coaches and therapists over the last 10 years, it was my sessions with Bodhi that helped me to heal my most self-destructive patterns. Now I feel very blessed that my life flows. Bodhi is a very warm and humorous person, and I always get amazing insights during our sessions.

    As a coach I had primarily been using a very result-oriented model with a great number of people in Europe. After meeting Bodhi I learned to act from truth and I feel so much more present with my clients. As a result, my business has expanded naturally without any other effort than just being able to use what I’ve learned from Bodhi with my clients. He makes a great difference for so many people.

Back to top