Grieving: Being With Our Deepest Feelings
Explore the importance of absolutely allowing the full range of our feelings when grieving. Bodhi shares his personal experience, encouraging us to embrace and express all of our feelings for a richer, more vibrant life.
Will We Allow Ourselves to Feel?
There is a broad spectrum of feelings to experience in this human incarnation, and there is also a continuum of the degree to which we allow ourselves to feel and express those feelings.
The more we allow ourselves to feel across the entire spectrum of feelings, the greater our potential for living a full and rich life.
Sure, most people prefer to experience what we consider "positive" feelings, e.g., happiness, and most prefer not to experience feelings that are considered to be "negative" or painful.
Avoidance, distraction and denial are attempts to block one's awareness of those very present feelings.
Feelings are a form of energy and ultimately, cannot be denied without great cost.
Any attempt to block feeling is a block of one's natural flow which necessarily leads to imbalances that will show up in one's life in one way or another at the physical and/or mental/emotional levels.
We naturally feel deeply. We may attempt to shield ourselves from feeling at times, (consciously or unconsciously), but the experience of feeling is still taking place at some level.
Both positive and negative feelings are a part of wholeness and the totality of our being. Such is the inherent polarity in all of existence.
Have courage. Allow the feelings. Your reward is freedom.
The Struggle with Vulnerability in My Childhood
I remember all too many times in younger days, being in movie theaters, experiencing rich, strong feelings. The body naturally wanted to cry out to organically release the buildup of feeling energy.
But in those days I was so fearful of revealing my raw vulnerability that even when everyone else in the theater was sobbing loudly, I would choose to let my head nearly explode from the pressure of pent up energy rather than let anyone see me cry.
Such is the pain of resistance. Oh dear young self, how I wish I had been there for you.
Opening to Feelings and Embracing What Is
As each of us allow ourselves to fully feel, to expand into and embrace What Is, we can live more vibrant and richer lives, discovering the uncharted territory of our own true nature and paths.
To do this, we must absolutely allow and express whatever feelings, thoughts, and emotions arise within us. No denial. No avoidance. No distraction.
Just opening up to and allowing the flow of it all. In doing so, freedom and peace are present.
My Journey with Simone: Embracing Pain and Fear with Love
Through the last 8 years of Simone's life (my beloved wife of 27 years), she was in sleepless pain 23/7. It was relentless and each of us experienced intense feelings — at times fear or helplessness.
But we had long ago committed to each other to allow it all, to truly be present to what we experienced, and to share it with each other. And we did.
Moving through the process of having to let go as her life was slipping away, we turned toward the pain, together. It took everything we had to do this, because regardless of how far along any of us are on the path of awakening, resistance can creep in.
I mean, really, who would want to feel this or go through this? But we can.
Grieving: Healing by Allowing Deep Feelings
Following her transition... the grieving... opening up new portals to pain stronger and deeper than anything I had ever experienced.
Breathing slowly and deeply. Allowing feelings to move through. Some waves more like tsunamis. But they would subside. More breathing, allowing, releasing.
Embracing it all. It only hurt so badly because the love was so deep. Sensing that allowed smiling. Cherished memories seeped through the pain.
I am grateful to have felt all of this. It honored the love and path Simone and I shared so bonded as one. Sacred.
It would have been tragic to have dimmed my light and muted my experience.
Shutting down would have cut me off from feeling, feeling her and feeling me and feeling you, which is the very last thing I would want to do.
The Lightness of Unfolding Grace
Time passes and a lightness of being returns. This is not just the unfolding of the grieving process. It’s a form of Grace — which we, having allowed our deepest feelings to move through us – co-create.
Feel. Breathe. Allow. Breathe. Embrace the feelings and the energy that carries them. Breathe.
Breath… is life.
As we allow ourselves to fully feel, expanding into and embracing What Is, we live more vibrant lives, discovering the uncharted territory of our own true nature.
If you’d like to support in accessing, allowing, and moving through your deepest feelings, I'm here for you. Feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.