Raise Your Integrity with Awareness
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Raise your integrity and improve your capacity to make wise decisions with heightened self-awareness. Learn the 'Would I Tell Everyone?' technique to better align choices with your deepest values to live more consciously.
The Importance of Awareness in Decision-Making
Greater self-awareness catalyzes personal growth and better decision-making. By becoming more attuned to our external surroundings and internal thought processes, we can gain more profound insights, make clearer decisions, and reduce our stress.
As we bring together our awareness of varied aspects of our situations; as we notice what we feel and sense about what we’ve become aware of; and as we measure all of that against our values, we can start to assess the wisdom of any choices we’re about to make.
Understanding Our Blindspots and Subtle Drivers
One of the most prominent impediments to wise decision-making is our blindspots. Blindspots prevent us from seeing the whole of what drives us as we deliberate, some of which are very subtle.
And quite often, those subtle drivers arise out of a part of us that just wants more…and more…and more.
A Tool for Reflection and Alignment
One useful method to shed light on what motivates us and to ascertain whether our decisions are in line with our values is to ask ourselves: “Would I feel great telling my closest friends, my family, or people I most respect — the unvarnished truth about this choice?”
By unvarnished truth, I mean that we wouldn’t omit or embellish any aspects of the decision or situation in an attempt to manipulate others to perceive us in a positive light. Using what’s really going on in any situation offers us a genuine opportunity to reflect upon how we really feel about the path down which we’re traveling.
The Pitfalls of Ignoring Our Values
Life is full of opportunities to sweep our awareness of our values and feelings under the rug in service of achieve personal gains. We’re very creative beings who can easily find ways to justify ignoring the needs of other people if it means we can get our needs met. And we can be quite effective at blinding ourselves to the truth of doing that.
But if we prioritize personal gain over living in alignment with our values, we’ll bring stress and unhappiness to our lives, and suffer in the long run.
This process of telling (or even imagining telling) the naked, unspun truth to those whose view of us matters most, helps put a magnifying glass on what we’re doing.
Not because we’re designing our lives to be based on what others think about us — that’s not healthy at all — but rather, to make use of that reflection to enhance our awareness of what’s driving us and assess whether our impending choice aligns with our values.
Growing Our Awareness Inside and Out
Remember, the goal here is to become far more aware of what is going on externally and internally.
External awareness helps us understand the potential impact of our decisions on our lives, the lives of those around us, the environment, etc.
Internal awareness sensitizes us to how we feel about these potential impacts. It reveals whether our choices are in alignment with our values. It brings to light whether going down this path feels right to us and is in integrity. And with our hearts engaged, we can sense how caring this decision is for those affected by it.
The “Would I Tell Everyone?” Technique
The point of this process is to raise our awareness, not to get sucked into getting down on ourselves. We’re all human and get caught up in unhealthy patterns from time to time. The key is to notice what needs drive us out of integrity and out of alignment with our values — and to see which unhealthy strategies we use to achieve that. Then, we can make course corrections.
Our mission is to see where we’re out of alignment; learn from that; clean up any messes we’ve made; then become more aware as we move forward in a more conscious way.
Take a moment and recall a situation in which you took advantage of someone — a situation in which if a spotlight was shining on you at the time for all to see, you would not have felt good.
Imagine telling those whose respect is important to you, free of any spin doctoring. If you have children, picture telling them about how you handled that situation, asking yourself, “Do I really want to model this behavior for my children? Is this what I really want to teach them?”
Looking at the situation, what do you remember thinking and feeling? Can you see what was driving you to say or do what you did? What unmet needs were in play and driving you?
Can you see if you blinded or numbed or distracted yourself so that you could do what you did, and if so, how? Essentially, what can you learn about how you got yourself to behave in that way that didn’t feel right?
The Journey to More Conscious Decision-Making
Remember, we’re endeavoring to learn to live more consciously, be more aware and present human beings. To do that, we must examine where we are insufficiently aware.
Some people will have a habit of beating themselves up about their negative behaviors. This does not help. It’s just a different type of negative behavior.
Raising awareness around what drives us when we operate at less than at our best is part of the healing process. It allows us to learn how to better meet those internal needs in a healthier way, easing the unnecessary stress and pressure we all too often place upon ourselves.
This makes it far less likely that we’ll get “taken over” by those unhealthy and negatively impactful drivers.
Regardless of how long ago this took place, there are many opportunities to clean up after ourselves. I know many people who have, years later, reached out to friends and former co-workers to apologize for words said or actions taken.
While that may not always be received well, it often is. No matter. What’s cleansing is the owning it, the learning and the initiative to heal, grow, learn, evolve.
Aware and Moving Forward
Utilizing this process with any decision can support us in checking out whether we’re in integrity and in alignment with our values.
If we discover that we’re not in alignment, we can assess which course corrections can be made so that our decision is aligned, wise and in integrity.
Would you like to be more present, feel more alive and connected, with a greater sense of inner peace?
It's my mission to support people in living and leading with greater ease, wisdom, and inner peace. To feel more deeply connected with those around them.
If you'd like to tap into your deeper insight and practical wisdom to live and lead more consciously, feel free to reach out at bodhi@bodhijeffreys.com to set up a time to connect.
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